My Top Albums of 2009 & the Decade!!!

I love music. My radio is my bestfriend. It comforts me. It makes me laugh. It makes me cry. It makes me dance the pain away! A lot of music has been released this year. Some good. Some bad. Some ill. Some ewww. Here are a few of my faves broken down by genres. Keep in mind these are the albums that I like listed in numerical order by the amount of rotation it gets in my itunes. Enjoy! You might agree with me and I might've even put you on to some new shit!



My "other shyt" faves of 2009


1. Dirty Projectors- Bitte Orca

2. Grizzly Bear- Veckatimest

3. Peaches- I feel cream

4. Amanda Blank- I Love You

5. Pink- Funhouse

*Black- Eyed Peas' "The E.N.D. (Energy Never Dies)" gets honorable mention*


My fave Mixtapes of 2009

1. Trey Songz- anticipation

2. 50 cent- forever king

3. Lil Wayne- no ceilings

4. Drake- so far gone

5. Nicki Minaj- beam me up scotty

6.Oceans 7- 3000 and 9 shit

7. The Cool Kids- gone fishing

8. Wale- back to the feature




My fave R&B albums of 2009

1. Maxwell- a blacksummer's night

2. Alicia Keys- the element of freedom

3. Melanie Fiona- the bridge

4. Dream- love vs. money

5. Ledisi- turn me loose

6.  Day 26- forever and a day

7. Chrissette Michelle- epiphany

8. Trey Songz- ready

9. Keyshia Cole- a different me

10. Mario- DNA

*Whitney Houston's "I look to you" gets honarable mention*


My fave rap albums of 2009

1. Jay- Z- the blueprint 3

2. Slaughterhouse- slaughterhouse

3. Fabolous- loso's way

4. Mos Def- the estatic

5. Raekwon- only built 4 Cuban linx 2

6. Clipse- 'til the casket drops

7. Kid Cudi- man on the moon

8. Jay Electronica- Exhibit C

9. Jadakiss- the last kiss

10. Wale- attention deficit

*Eminem's "Relapse" gets honarable mention*





My fave albums of the decade
(albums that I still love to play as if it was released just yesterday in no particular order)

*Sol- Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams- Solange

*Confessions- Usher

*Trey Day- Trey Songz

*Full Moon- Brandy

*Good Girl Gone Bad (reloaded)- Rihanna

*8701- Usher

*Just Like You- Keyshia Cole

*Aaliyah- Aaliyah

*Diary of Alicia Keys- Alicia Keys

*Dangerously in Love- Beyonce

*The Becoming- Beanie Sigel

*B'day- Beyonce

*Destiny Fulfilled- Destiny's Child

*Britney- Britney

*Blackout- Britney

*Purple Haze- Cam'ron

*Exclusive- Chris Brown

*Lord Willin'- Clipse

*Stripped- Christina Aguilera

*Be- Common

*Welcome to the Dollhouse- Danity Kane

*Mama's Gun- Erykah Badu

*From nothin' to somethin'- Fabolous

*Ghetto Fabolous- Fabolous

*From under the cork tree- Fall Out Boy

*Broken Silence- Foxy Brown

*Floetic- Floetry

*Philadelphia Freeway- Freeway

*American Gangster- Jay- Z

*The Blueprint- Jay- Z

*The Black Album- Jay- Z

*Futuresex/ Lovesounds- Justin Timberlake

*Who is Jill Scott? Words and Sounds Vol. 1- Jill Scott

*Late Registration- Kanye West

*Graduation- Kanye West

*Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson

*Kina- Kina

*Get Lifted- John Legend

*The Naked Truth- Lil' Kim

*The Carter- Lil' Wayne

*The Carter 2- Lil' Wayne

*The Carter 3- Lil' Wayne

*The Emancipation of Mimi- Mariah Carey

*Invincible- Micheal Jackson

*Now- Maxwell

*Fear of Flying- Mya

*Fly or Die- N.E.R.D

*Stillmatic- Nas

*In My Own Words- NE- YO

*Because of You- NE- YO

*I am... Sasha Fierce- Beyonce

*College Dropout- Kanye West

*TP.com- R. Kelly

*Return of Saturn- No Doubt

*Speakerboxx/ The Love Below- OutKast

*The Chocolate Factory- R. Kelly

*Missundaztood- Pink

*Get Rich or Die Tryin'- 50 cent

*Paper Trail- T.I

*Metropolis: The Chase Suite- Janelle Monae

*The All- American Rejects- The All- American Rejects

*Dirty Little Secret- The All- American Rejects

*Boys Like Girls- Boys Like Girls

*Trap Muzik- T.I

*Nas- Nas

*******HAPPY NEW YEAR*******

R.I.P. (2009)


*Dolla (rapper)
*Tega (rapper)
*Michael Jackson (King of Pop)
*Baatin (rapper)
*DJ AM (DJ)
*Roc Raider (DJ)
*Mr. Magic (DJ)

Rush Limbaugh: the spokesman for the black frame of mind... huh??

Well folks, he's back at it again! On Tuesday's "Rush Limbaugh Show", the right- winged radio talk show host weighed in on "the black frame of mind", which he insists is "terrible".

"Black unemployment is terrible. The black frame of mind is terrible. They are depressed. They're down, Obama's not doing anything for them. How's that hoax and change working for ya? They're livid. They thought there was going to be an exact 180 degree economic reversal, and it's done nothing but get bad for everybody, but they're especially upset about it because they look at him as one of them, and now they feel abandoned, and I'm sure Tiger Woods' choice of females not helping them out with their attitudes either".

Leave it to Rush Limbaugh to tie the issue of Tiger Woods' choice of white mistresses in with President Obama... Can we say grasping at straws?

Wow! I am not surprised that these statements are coming from a man like Rush Limbaugh. I am, however, surprised at the lengths that he would go to tarnish President Obama's name. As I sit here wondering, "when did Rush Limbaugh become the spokesman for the 'black frame of mind'", I cannot help but see some truth in what he is saying. I agree, the black state of mind is terrible, but not for any of the reasons that he has expressed. I believe that the black state of mind is terrible because a lot of us take no real interest in the state we are currently in. Thousands of African- Americans stood in line for hours awaiting the chance to vote for a change. We, as African- Americans, have created this image of Barack Obama and made him out to be some sort of a superhero who carries weapons of hope and change and destroys the evil republicans. Never once did it dawn on us that Barack Obama is not a superhero, he is human. Yes, he is the President of the United States, but we are the citizens. As citizens we have to be the hope and change we seek. As citizens, we have to assist our President in leading us to a better life. Voting was not the last stop on the train. So for all of those who have voted and then sat their asses right back on the couch instead of being front line in the fight for change, congratulations! You have succeeded in given Rush Limbaugh (and other's who think like him) all the ammunition needed to destroy our President's legacy and us as a people.

This is a call to all my fellow African Americans, there are issues in the world that stretch far beyond Nicki Minaj copying Lil' Kim or who Tila Tequila is starting a twitter beef with or getting the details of Jay- Z's exclusive birthday party. Those topics are entertaining, but while you are being entertained take a second to look around you. Are there people in your household who are without a job or without healthcare? Are there people in your household who are morbidly obese? Are there people in your household on their way overseas to assist in fighting a senseless war? Are there people in your household who couldn't afford to finish school or dropped out at a young age? Are there people in your household who have HIV/ AIDS? Are there people in your household whose sexuality won't legally allow them to get married? If the answer to any of those questions is yes, even if that person is you, that is all the more reason to get up and fight the good fight. The easiest solution is to blame the President, right? Isn't that what we did to Bush? But consider this notion, Bush didn't place himself in office (well, maybe the first time). And if you are sitting there reading this thinking, "I didn't put him there either", well that's the problem. Take a stand. If you don't make change happen, guess what, it won't!

And as far as Rush Limbaugh's outlandish connection of the "black frame of mind" and the current Tiger Woods fiasco, I believe what he was trying to insinuate is that their similarities are based on them both turning their backs on blacks. But it's still far fetched. Tiger is accused of being unfaithful. Infidelity is a common issue in all races. Men cheat. Women cheat. Famous people cheat. The bum on the corner chests. As a black woman, Tiger Woods choosing to have white mistresses does not bother me because Tiger never claims to be black anyway... not fully. So, if blacks are outraged, then Asians should be too. ;)

Click here to here full audio of Rush Limbaugh's talk show: http://HUFFPO.ST/cagm

Is it wrong to seek pleasure???

"I am an excitable person who understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger than reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I cannot transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls." - Anais Nin

Anais Nin is a writer who wrote passionately about passion. Aborting all theories of what is "wrong" or what is "right". She discusses her passions and her yearning to feel passion without fear or ambiguity. It is as if she is putting a middle finger up to society screaming "take me as I am". Not fearing passion, but instead inviting it and all it's experiences, good and bad, in. After reading this quote from this brilliant writer, I started to wonder... is it wrong to seek pleasure?

What is so wrong about wanting to experience passion beyond being tied to others ideals? Why do those who choose to battle the "common" way of thinking become persecuted when they are only in search of personal enlightenment? Are all those who dare to think outside the box "heathens" or "whores"? What if they are just merely searching to experience life?...

Seeking pleasure almost certainly brings pain in the end because all good things do not last forever. This is truth. Pleasure does not equal fulfillment, but only temporary bliss. With that being said, it isn't hard to understand that those looking to seek a lifetime of pleasure only receive a life's worth of moments. Is it better to wait until you find the perfect representation of you in the form of the opposite (or in some cases same) sex to travel with you on your journey to pleasure to ensure the impact of less pain? In other words should one wait until they are married to start exploring? I say marriage because it is the common notion that marriage is a commitment of forever in a relationship.

I am starting to believe that sex before marriage is only considered "wrong" because the line between lust and love is so thin that it is almost impossible to receive an orgasm without catching a quick glimpse of what love could be. The feelings and emotions derived from a sexual experience (a really good one) are often so strong that logic becomes hazy. What was meant to be "just an experience" begins to feel like something you are willing to endure for a lifetime. This is the main reason why i oppose the theory of "friends with benefits".

I think that the "religious" believe sex before marriage is considered "wrong" because they insist their logic is supported by the Bible. (I say insist because I believe the Bible, like all other writings are for the reader to interpret not be told). In their eyes, marriage vows that you can only love one person, and that is whom you should lust for. Those feelings, that lust, should only be for the one you love and your passion should be suppressed for the common good.

I am truly interested in is the feelings connected to sex. Is this the feeling that the "pleasure seekers" search for? The feeling of bliss and peace that comes in the form of an orgasm. Is that where the fears of the "upright" reside? In an orgasm that makes your mind, heart and body (if only for one second) become one with the world? All senses experiencing at the highest level. All control lost from your grasp as you do nothing but simply feel. Does the lost of control equate to a fear of pleasure?

What makes this all so difficult for me to comprehend is that once orgasm is reached, reality slowly settles back in between the heavy breathing. What a person might have thought was enlightenment becomes just another name on a list of lovers.

Words passionately spoken between lovers in the heat of the moment are hardly remembered after. I've come to know that that is the sum of lust.

The thing that separates love from lust is the words passionately spoken between lovers, when in love, still lingers afterward in the form of a touch, a kiss, a smile.

I believe that lust is just the out of body expression of love, when in love. When not in love, lust is just a sneak peek of what could be. It makes one yearn to discover and conquer the love they were so lucky to have had a glance of during sex. But sex is not love and love is not sex. Not completely inseparable, but far from being identical.

*Editor's note: I struggled writing this blog because I found myself debating morality with myself. I would like to be known as a free spirit, but I cannot entirely agree with those who are. In my experience pleasure and pain, just like love and sex come in pairs. In both cases you can experience one without the other, but the experience is lack luster. I don't believe that there is a "wrong" or "right" in this issue. Anais Nin was someone trying to make the most of life and it's experiences by seeking "the marvelous". That was her way of dealing with life. In a lot of ways I understand her yearning for more than what is offered, but I cannot agree with her methods entirely because in the end she did end up heartbroken by her many lovers. But she did not regret nor did she feel shame. She just lived.

Good Hair!!!

With the release of Chris Rock's documentary entitled "Good Hair", i've decided to write another post (since I haven't updated in a while). When I first heard about this movie and what it was going to be about, I was very excited to see it. A movie that talks about black women and the personal ties they have to their hair is a movie for me! But what i've noticed is that a movie that was intended to be a humored view of black women became a very touchy subject instead. A lot of black women have gone on the defensive citing such things as it "belittles us" and even called it "embarrassing". I'm not one of those women. I think that the movie was very funny and very true, I didn't take it so seriously.

I am a fan of black hair products and a lover of weave. A lot of my friends sometimes believe that the amount of weaves I have worn is ridiculous! They find it ridiculous because there really is no reason for me to wear weaves. I have long hair. In fact, it is almost at the center of my back. My defense is my hair is too thick and too stubborn to do what it is told. If I tell it to lay straight, it flips. If I bump it under, by the end of the day it curls upright. I am grateful that I have a beautiful head of hair, but I am more grateful for a weave. A weave listens. If I say stay, It stays. It can be any length, color or texture I choose without causing any damage to my real hair. In fact I thank a weave because if not for it, my hair probably would be very damaged due to the amount of work that I have to do to it just to get the look I am going for.

I believe that hair makes the look. If I want to be sophisticated, I throw in a ponytail (yes, I even purchase ponytails). If I want to be wet and wild, I buy a wet and wavy weave. They say blond's have more fun and if I want to find out for myself I throw in a blond weave. Weave is a miracle worker! For instance, if I wear a plain white T- shirt and jeans everyday, a fly hair style will surely bring out the best of that simple outfit. Hair makes the look. To me it is a better accessory than jewelery or even that perfect shoe.

The point I am trying to make is, it is only hair! Calm down! Even if it isn't yours, if it makes you happy then by all means proceed. After all life is too short to be anything but.

my real hair...

... and my beloved weave

Does Monogamy Still Exist Or Is It So 2008???

For the longest time I have wanted to write a blog about relationships.  Relationships are constant conversation amongst me and my girlfriends. All we need is a little wine to get the ball rolling and no topic is off limits. We talk about sex, love, friendships and all the encompasses the term relationship.  But what I have noticed is that a female's ideal of what a relationship is has become jaded. A lot of females have just gotten used to settling for what they can get. I will admit that I was once guilty of that. But now- a- days it seems like a women has only two choices: settle or be lonely. I have yet to decide which one is worse.

I have a friend who doesn't believe in monogamy. She explains herself by saying, "why should I practice monogamy when niggas don't believe in it. I don't 'do' relationships and that's how I protect my heart".  Now I want to make sure to tell you that even though she is not monogamous doesn't mean she "sleeps around", it just means she doesn't claim anyone or allows anyone to claim her. As she expressed her thoughts on the subject, I nodded my head in agreement. I can say that no man that I was in a relationship with has cheated, but then I would be lying. But do all females feel that way?

Thinking that this conversation had become biased, I searched for a male point of view. I asked one of my closet male friends his opinion on monogamy. With the wit that only he has, he replied, "I would like to say yes, for my girl's sake, but I don't know. I always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and maybe one day I will try to find out. But trust and believe my girl is probably staring at that same grass too". Although I appreciated the honesty in his response, I couldn't believe it. Him and his girl have been together for 2 years, why would he wonder about the other side or speculate that she might be wondering too?

Yesterday I watched "Why did I get Married (The Play)" and the topics got me asking myself a lot of questions. If monogamy no longer exists, then who is to blame? They always say "do your part because if you don't then someone else would", but is that always the reason or is that the excuse?

Personally, I believe that if the love and the connection is there then the relationship can survive. But it can not survive with wandering eyes. People today are just overwhelmed with too many choices and they look for traits in another person that they cannot find in someone else. (Exactly why that Pleasure P song "Boyfriend #2 irritates me). I also believe that some people are just not built to be monogamous *kanye shrug*

Being single, I have come to terms with being "lonely". Sometimes it's good and sometimes it sucks major ass (but only on cold nights). But it has allowed me the chance to figure out who I am and what I would like to receive in a relationship or if I even want a relationship at all. There is far to much "settling" going around and it is mostly because of the fear of being lonely. But it is hard for me to adjust to the thought that what I can receive from a relationship is only what I allow myself to see, while overlooking the honest truth that the essence of good relationships probably no longer exist.

hmmm... i wonder...

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

Now im sure most of you saw the madness that is the MTV 2009 Video Music Awards. I was excited to watch it because I just knew the performances and the Micheal Jackson tribute would be the highlights of the show. Judging from the opening of the show,  it appeared as if it was going to be good. Madonna gave one of the most touching speeches about Micheal Jackson ive heard thus far. Janet Jackson's tribute to her brother made me shed a tear.  But what I did not expect was Kanye West's improptu speech during Taylor Swift's acceptence speech.

Now for those who did not watch, here is a brief run down. The first award to be given out was "best female video". The nominees were Beyoncé (single ladies/ put a ring on it), Katy perry (hot &cold), Lady GaGa (poker face), Pink (so what), Kelly Clarkson (my life would suck without you) and Taylor Swift (you belong with me). To my astonishnent, teen country music sensation Taylor Swift won the award. But appearantly I was not the only one confused. When Taylor went up on stage to accept her very first moonman (video music awrad) and give her acceptance speech, she was bombarded by Kanye West who took it upon himself to express his feelings. Kanye goes on to say, "Congratulations Taylor.  I'mma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time".  *blank stare* WHAT?

I must admit that I am a bit biased in this situation. I really dont know enough about Taylor Swift's music (and i admittedly have not seen one video) to know whether or not she deserved the award. What I do know is that Beyoncé's "single ladies (put a ring on it)" was one of the most imitated videos on youtube to date. But all of that is irrelevant at this point. From the moment Kanye said what he said he was labeled "an asshole". But is he really?

I feel some empathy for Taylor Swift because she appeared to be so excited to win her first Video Music Award, only to have her bubble bursted by Kanye West on national television. But in all honesty, I dont think Kanye's rant was directed toward Taylor, I believe it was directed toward MTV (Taylor just happened to be the one that won). For a few years in a row, a lot of the VMA winners have been very suspect. Those who I assumed would win, were dupped by artist who had better sales (or better PR reps). If you familiar with Mr. West then his actions would shock you, but if you are, it was Kanye just being Kanye. I believe "improptu" is his middle name.

Unfortunately for Kanye, him being himself may have caused some serious backlash. MTV put him and his date (the lovely Ms. Amber Rose) out and canceled his performance. The social network Twitter was up in arms over what he said even suggesting that his later apology was fake. (It baffles me that people judge apologies).  Some believe that what Kanye did was bad for black people (ummm... okay). Some also believe that what Kanye West did was the equivalent to Senator Wilson calling President Obama a "liar" during the National Press Conference (whoa. that's a stretch). It also didnt help matters that President Obama later called him an "asshole". I believe a lot of people are really upset with Kanye because of his timing, not so much over what he did.

Now here is my question to you: Is it okay to express your feelings whenever and wherever you feel them? Is there a time and place for everything?

My personality doesn't allow me to accept what I believe in my heart is wrong. I pride myself on being able to call out bulshit and their keepers when and where ever I see them appear. I do not disagree with what Kanye said at all because he expressed exactly what I was thinking at that same moment, however I do disagree with the way he choose to express his feelings.

Just another example of "when keeping it real goes wrong".

(By the way: Kudos to Beyoncé for making a bad situation better and allowing Taylor Swift her time to shine. You're a class act Bey!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1reS1QEt1jg <---- click this link to see the full spectacle.

*picture provided by: justjared.buzznet.com

Have you taken the time to read the book, or do you just look at the cover??

I am very fond of social networks and blogging. It allows me the chance to communicate and share thoughts with friends and strangers alike. I suppose everyone with internet access feels that their opinions and thoughts are relevant and should be shared. That's somewhat understandable. What I can not understand is the vicious and insulting comments made amongst one another on the web. So much negativity can be found online now- a- days. True meaning of "A gift and a curse".

What is the difference between "hating" and "constructive critism"? Personally, I do not like the terms "hating" or "hater". I feel  it is overused. Some people who can not take constructive critism or the hard truth, use that term to justify themselves. But, what truly separates "hating" from "constructive cristism" is the motive behind it. Is it coming from a good place?


I consider myself to be a "watcher". The term "watcher" describes my personality around people. I pay very close attention to the people around me (with or without a sober mind). As I watch people, although i am not in the very best position, i judge them. These judgments are not necessarily negative, but more times than not they are.

*Some of my judgmental ways stem from my family. I grew up with people who made it their business to express all thoughts (both positive and negative)

I judge based on upkeep. I judge people for what i consider to have "project mentalities" (be small minded); the way they raise their children, the way they handle relationships with men/ women, their lack of education, ignorance, etc. I would secretly vow to myself that "I would never be like them". I won't lie, a part of me distanced myself mentally from them (although I would still hang out with them) because I did think I was better than them. But what I know for a fact is once I got to know them individually (as opposed to placing them all in the same box), I've come to realize that we all had similarities in our past and present. In fact, we really weren't that much different at all. A lot of the people that I was so quick to write off are some of my closet friends to date.

After that revelation, I started to think about why is it a human instinct of mine (and others) to "judge a book by it's cover", never concerning oneself with the contents inside. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. It really makes no sense to judge people without knowing who they are or what they stand for. It baffles me how some people's sole purpose is to bring another person down. I am reminded of a friend who once told me "being negative comes natural. It gives people a false sense of maturity and growth. It is positivity that takes effort, but you shall be rewarded in the end". Hmmm... interesting way to look at it.


When I read blogs from people like Tameka Foster Raymond (Usher Raymond's ex- wife), I can sympathize with her. No, I do not no the inner workings of her life or relationship (and I truly could care less), but I do know what it feels like to be judged. And she has been judged plenty. People (celeb bloggers and their commentators mostly) make assumptions about her life without knowing her, and this is something that she has to deal with on a daily basis. Can you imagine??

Celebrities are constantly under a microscope and examined piece by piece. But they often don't receive sympathy because most people feel as if "it comes with the territory".

But what about us everyday, average folk? Should we all naturally expect negativity? Yes, I know the old saying "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words would never hurt me", but I don't think that that is always the case. Physically words cant hurt you, but mentally it can fuck you up (if you feed into it). You can be the strongest person with the most confidence, but some things can still effect you.

I've dealt with this issue on both ends (being the one that's judged and being the one doing the judging). What I have learned is that "judging" is inevitable, there is no getting around being judged or making judgments (even if they are unintentional).


You cant change people, but you can change yourself (and hope everyone else follows suit)...

...I am still a work in progress.

"Don't hate.. Hate is easy... Love takes courage" -Rev Run