will the real Barbie please stand up!!! (... and then sit all the way down... over it!!)

When I sense fuckery, it is hard for me to hold my tongue. Maybe it’s because I’m a Leo, maybe it’s because I’m of Trinidadian decent, maybe it’s because I’m from Brooklyn, maybe it’s all of the above. But there has been something brewing that has really been grinding my gears. Recently, I’ve been hearing (through blogs and twitter) that Lil Kim has started beefing with Nicki Minaj. At first I thought it was nonsense. Why would Lil Kim even feel the need to even start something with Nicki Minaj? Lil Kim’s status is Iconic. Not only as a female rapper, but as a rapper in general. She came into the game when it was oversaturated with men and made her claim of fame by spitting gritty (some might even say girl powering) rhymes that gave her female fans the push they needed to have that “fuck the world” attitude.

Speculations have been made whether or not she actually wrote any of those rhymes, but who cares? She spit those lyrics with only the grit and sass that she could possess.  Lil Kim, although surrounded by a sudden emerge of female MC’s, blazed her own lane, guarantying that the ones who came before nor the ones who would come after would even hold a candle to her shine.

Then, Nicki Minaj stepped on the scene. At first her name and her mixtapes were just whispers. But there was no denying that she was setting out to get the crown. In the beginning, Nicki accredited her style as a female MC to Lil Kim, Foxy Brown and Lauryn Hill, going so far as to say that they were her idols.  Then “beam me up scotty “ (mixtape) was released, she was signed to Young Money records and suddenly the little raptress that could, did. With the sudden notoriety, Nicki got on her best marketing and switched her style up. No longer was she the gritty round the way girl, with the dubee weaves, making youtube videos in the stairwells… she was now a Barbie.

Herein lies the dilemma...   

You might be saying to yourself, “wait a minute, isn’t Lil Kim the black Barbie”? When this Barbie wave first hit I asked the same question. I always wondered why Nicki choose to CLEARLY bite off of Lil Kim’s persona. Then I was curious as to why Lil Kim never felt the need to say anything about it. I came to the conclusion that Lil Kim was just to good to even entertain foolishness…

Fast forward a year later, Nicki is major with an enormous amount of Barbie minions fans. She is featured on several of the top 100 songs (not just secluded to hip hop) and is expected to drop her debut album sometime this year. Lil Kim is now making an effort to come back into the rap game. So the most obvious decision for Kim is to shoot at the person at the top. She must’ve forgot that she was already at the top and Nicki is still climbing. As preparation for a comeback, Lil Kim as been touring the country and throwing shade Nicki’s way at EVERY show.

This has to be the dumbest move on Lil’ Kim’s part. She insists that Nicki should pay homage, but as I can recall Nicki has already done so (in the beginning of her come up).  Does Kim expect her to thank her at the end of every show?? This is childish, Lil Kim is damn near 40 years old, beefing with someone who clearly learned every lesson Kim had to offer and flipped it for her benefit. If that isn’t paying homage, then I don’t know what is. 

Footage of Lil Kim performing at Sonar in Baltimore when she brought Baltimore Female MC Keys out to rap her "Nicki Minaj diss record" **special shout out to my home girl Devon who is the one INITIALLY  responsible for the footage** :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JywDsqvgzq4 

I believe that Lil Kim’s real issue isn’t with Nicki stealing her shine or image. If that were true, why wasn’t it addressed earlier, when it first started? I believe that her real issue is that she never thought that HER image would get Nicki as far as it has gotten her. She probably thought that Nicki’s shine would have come and gone like her predecessors. But Nicki’s star is rising, and whether you care for her music or not, it’s moving. So with Lil Kim’s decision to step back on the scene it only makes sense to go after Nicki with guns blazing… but, where I feel Lil Kim failed at was not putting it on wax and going state to state chirping bullshit about “homage and stolen image” instead of proving why she is the Queen Bee and putting it on wax. I need my “Hardcore”/ “Naked Truth" Lil Kim because she would’ve def shut  Nicki down properly (like “quiet” feat the game shut down Lil Cease and shut up Foxy Brown)!! But talking shit, just to talk it is petty, childish and earned Kim a grade F in Hip Hop Beef 101.

 *Editors note: I am not throwing shade at Lil Kim nor Nicki Minaj… I like them both (of course not equally. Kim holds a special place in my heart) But Cmon Son, let’s call a spade a spade. It’s way too convenient for Kim to now decide to throw shots while she is on a tour preparing for her come back. I also think that this is always the issue with female MCs (or females in general). They hate to see another chick shine. And yes, I am fully aware that what Kim is saying has some merit, but if she didn’t say it then, I don’t want to hear it now. In the words of Kid Fury, “if anybody should be mad it should be Barbie!”

Do You Ever Really Know A Person???

Last week I went on a date. It was the typical first date filled with questions and answers to help you get a feel of the person sitting across from you. I asked about his life, he asked about mine. His answers were way more forthcoming than my own. He noticed. Then he told me “you’re a very secretive person”. I laughed it off. Then he would start to stare deep in my eyes while I was talking. I asked him, “do you always stare at people this hard or are you just trying to ‘figure me out’?”He laughed it off. For the rest of the night I divulged hardly anything about my life. There was no particular reason for it. I just don’t see the point of telling my life story over one dinner. So I choose other things to discuss that I felt gave some insight to who I am, without having to actually say “this is me”.

He wouldn’t be the first person to tell me that I am “secretive”. I hear that often from guys, but I have to wonder if that’s a bad thing…

Experts say that holding secrets begins at about age four or five. We all want to have some information about ourselves that our parents don’t know. This helps form our future independence creating a boundary between child and world.

As we get older and become adults, keeping some thoughts and actions private sustain the feeling individuality. However, there are those who keep secrets to avoid potentially critical judgments by others and/or negative consequences.

For the sake of this blog I won’t say that I am “secretive”, but I will admit to being guarded.  When you keep secrets, your life then begins to revolve around various maneuvers to maintain the façade. Too much work. It reminds me of a quote “when you tell the truth, then you never have to remember what you said”. Never have I once tried to be something that I am not or talk about things that I do not know. But there are often times when I choose to say as little about myself as possible. This might be shocking to some because I am very talkative, but I am not so “talkative” when it comes to my personal business.

I don’t believe that telling a person everything equates to telling them the truth either. You make your own truth. I just find it a little funny that there are some people who believe that somehow when you don’t say anything that automatically makes you a liar or “secretive”.  I commend those who are able to be completely open and honest with a stranger. I’m, unfortunately, too guarded for that.

Being guarded is a task. It isn’t something that is easily done for me. Sometimes I would meet someone and want to invite them into my world with open arms, but then I quickly remember what happened the last time I did that. So I choose what I say very carefully.

But, consider this on a different scale. It’s easy to be guarded and “secretive” with strangers, but what about with people who are constant in your life?

There are only a handful of people who know just what type of person I am; the good, the bad and the ugly.  With that being said, I still hold on to a few secrets.  No matter how well you know someone, you will never know them entirely.  It’s just a fact of life. People are left with their inner thoughts 24 hours a day, seven days a week, so on and so forth.

How many of us really know each other? 

Are You Setting Yourself Up For Failure??...

Last night I watched "What Chilli Wants" on VH1. It is a new show on a long list of "celebreality" shows that focuses on former TLC group member Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas trying to find love. It appears to be different from all the previous celeb dating shows where the celeb chooses a mate from a group of 12 randomly selected participants. (I'm only assuming that the participants are randomly selected because my mind can't grasp the fact that the participants fit any kind of criteria beyond being "cute"... if that). In Chilli's new show, she searches for love with the help of a match maker, advice columist Tionna Smalls.

My initial thoughts before watching the show were "damn, if Chilli can't get a man is there any hope for us?". After watching the show, I realized just why she is alone... She is too damn picky! Now I am all for having standards when it comes to choosing who you want to give your heart to, but there is a thin line between having standards and being completely delusional. Chilli has composed a list of what she would like in a man. The list was so long it couldve been written on a scroll. She wants to find a man who is well endowed, with a six pack (but will settle for a 4 pack), doesn't eat pork, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, God fearing, good with kids, can have kids but with no more than two baby mommas... there is more to that list, but my fingers are starting to cramp. None of these standards are unreasonable, but to find them all in one person is.

So I started thinking about it... why are her standards so unreasonable? Are my standards just as seemingly ridiculous?

I think the problem lies in having such specific standards. I am not saying that people shouldn't have standards, but when you enter any relationship with a check off list it detours you from seeing the good qualities in people outside of your list.

Chilli explains why she is so specific by saying she has settled in the past and was left heartbroken. When it comes to relationships, I think standards should be generalized (ie.similar interest). I also refuse to make specific standards that will leave me just as unfulfilled in a relationship as I would be if I settled. No one is perfect...

I think the key to being happy or satisfied in a relationship is give or take. Since no one is perfect, you and your mate should be allotted enough room to make mistakes without fear. (Not too many mistakes though). You don't want someone pretending to be something that they are not out of fear of losing you.

After watching Chilli's show, i re- evaluted my list (which by the way is no where near as long as hers). Im still content with being single for right now, but if ever I decide that I am truly ready and willing to engage in a relationship, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't setting myself up for failure. We should all re- evaluate our standards and then ask ourselves this question:

"Am I setting myself up for failure?"


*Editor's note: when I first wrote this blog, I made it a one sided conversation. I quickly edited it because I know there are some men who are just as unrealistic when it comes to dating... A lot of us look for a perfect mate when we, ourselves are far from being a perfect mate for others. Setting high standards, to me, is just away to control a relationship. Relationships are supposed to be partnerships, not dictatorships.  I am not encouraging anyone to just date anybody, I'm encouraging leaving the door open for possibilities as opposed to shutting it closed at strike one. Honestly, now- a- days dating is just a big ole mess. I believe dating is this way because people place to much emphasis on standards. Have fun & let the chips fall where they may...

A woman... Phenomenally (In Recognition of National Poetry Month)

I remember I was eight years old the first time I saw "Poetic Justice" (a movie starring Janet Jackson and Tupac Shakur). In the movie Janet Jackson plays a girl name Justice who deals with all pain and emotions through words. Words are her escape in a world of chaos and confusion, trails and tribulations. Throughout the movie she recites poems. One poem in particular stood out from the rest. That poem was "Phenomenal Women". At the age of eight, I was able to some what relate to the essence of the poem. The poem calls out the "criteria" for beauty and expresses that not fitting that "criteria" doesn't make you any less of a woman. It forces you to see how superficial the world is, and makes you want to embrace who you are despite of it. "Phenomenal Women" has played such a strong role in my life. I have the poem printed out and hung up on my wall as a daily reminder that I don't need any justification from the masses. I am happy to be who I am. I exude confidence and am unapologetic for it.

Not to long after watching the movie I found out that Justice didn't write any of the poems she recited (ignorance of youth... don't judge me!). It was in fact Maya Angelou who wrote it, as well as the other poems in the movie. This was my first introduction to Ms. Angelou and there was no turning back.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

© Maya Angelou 1994

Editors Note: I wanted to post this poem, mainly because it is National Poetry Month and because this poem has truly become an inspiration for me. Not solely because of it's meaning, but because this poem has started me on my journey with a pen & a pad. This poem is why I write. I, at the age of 8, was amazed at what words could do... how you could be able to say a lot without really saying anything at all. Words could ignite passion, anger, joy and pain all within the same sentence (if done correctly). I would like to encourage all of you to READ some poetry this month. Who knows, you might become inspired!  

Thats not the Tee hunnii!!!! (rant)

Woke up to a beautiful morning. The Sun was peeking through the blinds begging to get in and be seen, so I obliged. Cracked the window and felt the gentle breeze. Whispered a "Thank You". Started my morning. Separated colors from the whites while the mellow sounds of neo soul played in the background. My morning: so far, so good... and then...

A friend of mine sent me a link and titled it "WTF?". Of course I wanted to see what it was all about so I opened it. It was a video segment of a chicago news program. Apparently in the last 50 hours (between March 31st and April 2nd) 40 people have been shot, 4 people died. One of the shootings happened two blocks away from where the Commissioner and the Superintendent of the Chicago police department were holding a press conference addressing the previous shootings.

 Chicago's abc7 news clip on 40 shootings in 50 hours

As I am watching the video, all I can think is "Why?". Now I'm questioning if the why matters? We can go on for days torturing ourselves trying to figure out the cause. When I hear about things like this I get upset.  I often hear about incidents like this. There are MANY people who do not have any idea that this is what's happening because they aren't interested or distracted by nonsense. They're getting "razzle dazzled"" *in my Billy Flint voice*.

This behavior isn't justified by any means! It's wrong! This isn't the wild wild west and ain't none of ya'll  John Wayne. You can't just walk around shooting mass amounts of people. I don't care if it is about retaliation... 40 people have gotten shot. That is ridiculous. Your cable subscription should be terminated because you've been watching too many repeats of "Scarface".

And what upsets me more is the fact that I'm reading comments like "Gangster Shit". Hand- clap for the assholes who think that this behavior is okay. It's non productive.

 Be Aware!!!!!

And now back to my beautiful morning...

Oh yeah, Happy Easter Everyone! *MuAH*

F*CK GROUPTHINK!!!

As a fan of Erykah Badu, I was uber excited to hear that she was releasing a new album. It was to be a part two of "the new amerykah" album she released in 2008. Most people describe her, as well as her music, as being eclectic. Often the word eclectic is used by people who want to define what they conceive as weird or out of the norm. This word is often given to me because of choices in the music I listen to. Being from Brownsville, Brooklyn, it's hard for some to understand that I could really love indie music, so that makes me "eclectic".

Last Saturday morning, Ms. Badu released a video for her single "window seat" (a song in which I absolutely love). The song is about basically just wanting to get away from it all. In the video, which was shot Guerrilla-style and in one take, she walks along Dealey Plaza, located in downtown Dallas, and sheds her clothes until she is completely nude with the words "evolving" written on her back. (I Know!) At the end of the video, a gun shot is heard and she falls near the place where President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. This is an assimilation of her individuality being assassinated. But before the video is over there is a narrated statement about “Groupthink”. What in the hell is "groupthink"?

For the past week on twitter, Ms. Badu has been asking her followers to sum up "groupthink" in one word. Words like fear, coward, clone and hypnosis were given as definitions. None of those words are incorrect interpretations of "groupthink", but what is it really? "Groupthink" is defined as "a type of thought exhibited by group members who try to minimize conflict and reach consensus without critically testing, analyzing, and evaluating ideas".

In basic terms, "groupthink" is when a group of people become "yes men" just to avoid being the one to oppose and cause disruption. It's when people are scared to be individuals because they are concerned about what the "group" will think. Individuality is lost and consensus thinking is praised. But before you start thinking to yourself, "that isn't me", it's better to be real and acknowledge that at some point you have been guilty of "groupthink" (if you aren't guilty of it now). Everyone has been. There is always a time when it may be easier to avoid being seen as foolish or easier to not anger those close to you by simply agreeing.

I love artist like Erykah Badu because they challenge those ideals. The "window seat" video is a clear opposition of "groupthink". Not because of the public nudity, as most of her "groupthinking" critics believe. She kind of makes you think beyond that.

It is the groups job to conform the individual. But it is the individual's job to hold tight to their truths and beliefs. Stand for something or fall for anything. Are you defined by "groupthink"?

The video can be seen here:
Window Seat by Erykah Badu


btw: pick up Erykah Badu's "New Amerykah Part Two: Return of the Ankh"!!!!

A Woman's Worth!

As some of you might know, the month of March is national Woman's History Month. So in respect to all the strong women in history, both recognized & not, I asked a dear writer friend of mine to contribute a piece of her work. Happily, she obliged my request. Not only did she oblige, she was able to sum up the meaning of a women beautifully. Read and enjoy... and to all my fellow women out there, take heed to these words and strive to become the best women you can be so that when our young females become women, we will be the example in history that they reference.

Women...(the truth in one breath)

Truth be told...

A woman is already created whole, additionally blessed with the gift of intuition...

But become reduced in percentage when someone convinces her that a piece of her is missing...

Puts inside her head that the piece that is missing to complete her existence is found inside of a man and I know that this is incorrect from reading...

Because what he has that I need, I already have when God took the rib from Adam and placed it inside of Eve in Eden...

So...why do we believe in the myth that we need a man to complete us first...

Why must we always be the damsel in distress and become the damsel in the stress undressed and hurt...

See a woman of confidence doesn’t need an audience to acknowledge her qualities...

She is the truth in all its honesty and dare not live a sorry life because she lives with no apologies...

She embraces all of the titles that life has given her...

Wife, mommy, daughter, sister and still in all of this, not one title limits her...

She’s sure of herself and leans not to opinions of others to cause her to waiver...

Give a woman a moment and she’ll make memories with the one moment that you gave her...

She makes God smile when  she’s awake...

Takes His breath away, she is women, highly favored, special since creation...

Delicate, loving, and elegant, its evident she touches the world, her frame alone holds thousands of generations...

© Ashley Logan 2010

 *You can read more of this published author's work by purchasing her book "Heart of the Servant, Flesh of the Sinner: Volume 1"  

http://www.flipkart.com/heart-servant-flesh-sinner-ashley/1434356310-sox3f0mnvc