'All In Love Is Fair' Campaign

I want to tell you guys about my book. Yes. I've written a book. 'All In Love Is Fair' is my book. My baby. A collection of poems I've written over the past two years that tells a raw and honest story of the trials and triumphs of love. 45+ pieces, exploring different styles (haikus, tankas, prose...) broken up in 3 sections. 

Sooo I'm close to getting this project published. Halfway there! I've started this campaign to bring me get closer to (or reach) being self published. 

Sneak peek (bonus piece and a piece from the "Amor Desinit" section of the book). 

Insomnia 

I used to have these dreams.

The type that paints the picture of bliss with the most glorious colors.

The bluest blues.

The reddest reds.

Pinks, greens and yellows of all shades.  

Dancing with the vivid colors that swirled around. conceited.

Splashes of gold highlighting the picturesque ideal of me and him. 

I used to have these dreams. 

The type I welcomed.

Feelings overcome me. 

Maybe joy.

Maybe happiness.

I've certainly never felt anything quite like it.

I danced anyway.

Me and him always a continuing story of never ending glorious colors. 

Me and him, in sync.

I used to have these dreams. 

The type that never unmasked him.

Never knew who he was supposed to be...

... until I met you. 

I know this feeling.

You move me with the same ease.

Separated by circumstances, I can only see you in my dreams. 

Those glorious colors that rhythmically moved with us to the tune of our song. 

Those bluest blues, reddest reds, shades of pinks, greens and yellows, 

that feeling that overcomes my spirit... 

It saddens me.

Many look forward to dreams, the type that whimsically capture the essence of what they share with another.

Not I.

Dreaming of me and you, us, is only a reminder that you are there...

And I am here. 

I miss you. 

Just a girl. 

Expressing that if you guarantee me your attention, 

I, in return, could be everything you needed.

Selfish in it's approach. 

Real in it's essence. 

I'm dependent upon it.

As necessary as the air I breathe,

Attention brings life to my womanhood.

A reassurance of being desired by the one I desire.

But

You are a man.

A man can't be handled or molded

to suit me.

Did I expect too much?

A man can not be convinced of something everlasting  deriving from something so vain.

So

I suppress my womanhood 

And soon learn to accept any form of attention even if it falls short.

No longer making the effort.

Am I asking for too much?

You are a man. 

And I? 

I am needy. 

Check Out my campaign and help me get 'All In Love Is Fair' published!!!!!  

http://igg.me/p/all-in-love-is-fair--2/a1c3/6139

A Message To My Sistas...

Hey Sista! 

Yeah, I'm calling you out.

Why are you so hard on me?

Ain't I like you?

Doesn't life come from me just the same?

Are we equally not subjected to shame?

Always reminded we're less than.

Never equal to a man.

Hardly human.

Oh, I see

You're a "lady".

Quaint and quiet. 

Pleasant and easy.

Repression misconceived.

But a "lady", nonetheless. 

And you look down on me,

Your sista!

You scold me,

My self-awareness,

My appetite for life, 

Resistance to control,

The embrace of my sexuality. 

Hey sista! 

My sista! 

Ain't I like you?

Made of the same parts.

Bearing the load,

Getting none of the credit.

Overlooked.

But you separate from me,

Your sista. 

You reject the strength of our sisterhood. 

You reject the strength within you.

Happily repressed.

Proud to be a "lady"

and ashamed to be a woman.

That would make us too much alike...

...right?

#MyFeminismLooksLike Janie. Like Sula. I have an understanding of my womanhood and what that means to me. I am, in essence, a "free spirit". And I am shamed for it. I mean, at this point, patriarchy and misogyny are so deeply rooted that it's a given that I should be judged by a man. But by my sister, as well?

Black women's sisterhood is very strong when combating male misogyny. We're able to stand together to dispute ideas of what a woman should be placed on us by men. Black men, specifically.

But then...

When it comes to one another, the bond of sisterhood detaches and we become enemies. The most interesting aspect is that more often than not, our distaste for each other is brought on by the same injustices that cause us to stand together.

We tell men not to label us or box us in, but then We use those same labels against each other.

• "She's as hoe" if she has slept with a number of men YOU deem extreme.
• "She's a ratchet bitch" if she does something YOU can't understand and therefore don't agree with.
• "I'm wifey material and you aren't because you can't cook, clean or sex your man on demand"....
• The never ending light skin verses dark skin war.

Even down to the way we wear our hair. (Natural ain't for everybody or weaves are girls who have no hair/ want to be something they're not).

It's almost as if we've not only embraced, but pride ourselves on these patriarchy ideals. These damaging ideals. These demeaning ideals. The same ones we fight men against.

Patriarchy is defined as a social system in which males are the primary authority figures, implying the institutions of rule and privilege while entailing female subordination.

Patriarchy is so deeply rooted socially and politically that it has become the norm. Misogyny, hatred or dislike for women and/ or girls, has become the norm. Unknowingly (and sadly sometimes willingly), we've become the same misogynist we stand together to defend ourselves against. We've allowed stigmas to become our reality.

Judging each other.

Anyway, just wanted to share my poem...

peace. 

The mules of the world...?"

"Honey, de white man is de ruler of everything as fur as Ah been able tub find out. Maybe it's some place off in de ocean where de black man is in power, but we don't know nothin' but we see. So de white man throw down de load and tell de nigger man tuh pick it up. He pick it up because he have to, but he don't tote it. He hand it to his womenfolks. De nigger woman is de mule uh de world so fur as Ah can see..." - Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

I first was introduced to Zora Neale Hurston's work in my senior year of high school. Sadly, at the time, I had little to no interest in it because I really felt that I couldn't relate to what she was saying. In college I was given a novel entitled Their Eyes Were Watching God and instantly fell in love with each word read.

In this book, Hurston focuses on a character named Janie Crawford and her life as an attractive young black woman in a time period where black woman had "a place" in life. Grow up, get married, have kids, kids repeat that same cycle. Janie always wanted more for life, but her Grandmother, who raised her, wanted Janie to understand that there was no sense in her wasting her time "wanting more". As a black woman, in that time period, wanting more was sure to lead to disappointment because that was not the black woman's role.

"De nigger woman is de mule uh de world so fur as Ah can see..."

The line above is what I really want to focus this blog on. No one has ever been able to describe the plight of not only being Black, not only being a woman, but being a Black woman better than Hurston. Now, It is important to note that this book was written in 1937. Interesting that in the day and age of social networks (i.e. twitter, specifically) that something written in 1937 never rang more true than it does in 2012. Hurston was not denigrating the Black woman, but instead praised her strengths of always being a reliable source of strength (ie the the mule). But why use the word, "mule"? Are there no other ways to describe strength? I believe mule was specifically used because they are most often overlooked, but ALWAYS needed. A small, but load bearing animal (consider the time in which this novel was written, as well).

It seems that Black Women have always endured this type of subjugation due to the more than evident sexism of Black men. Often times this can be as horrendous as racism under white people. Whatever society dumps on Black men it seems that inevitably Black women take the blame for and get ostracized because of it.

I find myself always pulling out my feminist cape when I log on twitter because without fail it seems that Black women are always taking the brunt of the ire. Granted, twitter did not introduce me to the blatant bias, but it has introduced me to a widespread general opinion that the Black woman "ain't shit". Women, in general, have been considered "the mules of the world" for a long time. Given burdens that no one else would carry, with outright expectations to carry them without complaint. And we do (oftentimes). Constant badgering of "rachetness", "being hoes", "bitter", "angry", "spiteul", "gold diggers", "bad credit"... etc. etc. often makes me wonder "why the hell put up with us if we are so bad?"

Here is my thoughts: We, the black woman, are "dealt with" because we are the only ones really "dealing with" Black men. Not to say that people don't engage in the swirl from time to time and find happiness there, but Black women, for all our faults, remain loyal to the Black man (despite his faults). We can be relied on as that constant backbone although our pride is often beaten by the ones we support. And we're expected to continue supporting, regardless.

This is nothing written to point a finger to say who is wrong, but when confronted about why there is so much constant berating of Black women from Black men (who ironically come from black women) defenses go up and we, the black woman, are attacked for speaking up against it. 

This issue of the mistreatment of black women is nothing new. Often times than not, most of us do bring it on ourselves because of lifestyle choices, etc. But does it ever end? Will it ever end? 

Editors Note: If you haven't, please read Zora Neale Hurstons "Their Eyes Were Watching God"!!! 

The Plight...

"'Allow yourself to be loved'
I stare at those words
Dissect them
Piece them back together
Nope.
Something is still wrong.
I rearrange them
Try to make it more appealing to me, but
Something is still wrong.
Allow?
The mere thought of love needing my permission to occur saddens me
Love is without effort, it just is.
Right?
'Allow yourself to be loved'
I dress those words up with fancy happily ever after's.
But the outfit was too tight
Suffocating.
To give love the opportunity to smother me, fearing losing me in the process..."

I wrote this piece months ago, but could never finish. Most of the pieces I write aren't my personal experiences. but often times representations of things I've observed or read or overheard. My mind is always on go and words are always perched at the tip of my tongue ready to be released. But in this case, I couldn't finish this piece because... it's me.

Honestly, this piece is a lot of people. There are many who love hard, but don't know how to accept being love. Crazy, right? Well, I never said it would make sense, but it is indeed a reality.

We spend so much time waiting and hoping to be loved. Searching, yearning. Expecting that once love is coveted, it'll full a void. But when we actually get what we want, we run.

I believe that the ability to not know how to accept love is the reason why people end up in bad relationships. I don't think this in any way reflects self esteem, but a fear of trust. Fearing that if you become comfortable with your trust, things will change or in the end you'll lose. If you're making decisions based on fear, then you'll find yourself dealing with the same "safe" situations.

When you repress your fears, you're resisting them. Resisting fears does not eliminate them. You’ll continue to feel and subsequently create the experience of fear in your life. Where attention goes, energy flows. You will always end up in the same complacent relationship that'll always lead to you being alone...

And isn't that the fear? To love, be loved and lose love?

So... it really makes no sense to not take the risk of allowing someone to love you.

"In the same way how darkness is the lack of light and not the opposite of light, fear is the lack of Love, not the opposite of it. You can't put darkness in a room. In order to make it dark you have to block out light. You cant put fear in a person. In order to make a person fearful, you have to block out Love..."



Are you allowing yourself to be loved?....

My Top Albums: 2011

Well... It's that time of year again. When we reflect on the past year and look forward to a new one. Of course, my reflection of 2011 derives strictly from the vast amount of great music released this year. So I composed a list of MY FAVORITES (capitalized for emphasis of music that I preferred over the year). In each category it is listed in the order of number of plays it has received by me.

Hope you enjoy and hope I might have put you on to a few artists that you may have overlooked! Have A Happy New Year Everyone!


My Favorite Mixtapes: 


Frank Ocean- Nostalgia/ Ultra
The Weeknd- House of Balloons
Teedra Moses- Luxurious Undergrind
The Weeknd- Thursday
Fabolous- The Soul Tape
Frank Ocean- The Lonny Breaux Collection
Pusha T- Fear of God
Stacy Barthe- Sincerely Yours
Chase N Cashe- Gumbeaux
Meek Mills- Dreamchaser
Young Jeezy- The Real Is Back
Wale- Eleven One Eleven
Melo X- More Merch
Masspike Miles- The Road Less Traveled
Terius Nash (The Dream)- 1977


My Otha Shyt Favorites:


Pala- Friendly Fires
Idle Warship- Habits of The Heart
Florence And The Machine- Ceremonials
Lykki Li- Wounded Rhymes
M83- Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
Dum Dum Girls- Only In Dreams
Britney Spears- Femme Fatale
Foo Fighters- Wasting Light
Coldplay- Mylo Xyloto
Jessie J- Who Are You?


My Favorite R&B Albums


Beyonce- 4
Miguel- All I Want Is You
Jill Scott- The Light of The Sun
Tank- Now or Never
Chris Brown- F.A.M.E
Raphael Saadiq- Stone Rollin
Marsha Ambrosius- Late Nights, Early Mornings
Anthony Hamilton- Back To Love


My Favorite Hip Hop/ Rap Albums:

Phonte- Charity Starts At Home
Drake- Take Care
Young Jeezy- Thug Motivation: 103
Pusha T- Fear of God 2
Big Sean- Finally Famous
Wale- Ambition
Jay Z & Kanye West (The Throne)- Watch The Throne
The Game- R.E.D
Childish Gambino- Camp
J. Cole- Cole World: Sideline Story


(Didn't Know Where to Place) Definitely Needs To Be Mentioned:
Adele- 21
Amy Winehouse- Lioness: Hidden Treasure




Look Out For (artist making noise... lowkey)


@fuzeb- Curb Your Sarcasm http://hulkshare.com/k7vnfq5aucjl

@AsiFrio- Pussy And Sportscenter http://www.datpiff.com/Asi-Frio-Pussy-And-Sportscenter-mixtape.298241.html

@Therealsoufboi- I'm So Georgia http://indy.livemixtapes.com/mixtapes/12983/soufboi_im_so_georgia.html

@Avionadramida- Avionadramida http://hulkshare.com/8pdj6h4441l6

@Avionadramida- The Recruiting Process http://www.mediafire.com/?uqpz6on0b59lwmq

@JustFLoWing- Go With The Flow  http://www.justflowing.com/ 

@JustFLoWing & @MaVnificent1- The WaterBreak http://www.mediafire.com/?3ptmu8cvb6p6v84

@theYHGMbrand- The Empire Strikes Back (volume 1) http://hulkshare.com/frxo37nj026h

@MillyEsquire- Vintage Milly http://www.datpiff.com/Milly-Esquire-Vintage-Milly-BE-mixtape.268379.html

@MillyEsquire- Eating Milk, Drinking Cereal http://www.mediafire.com/?l30y5qr6jt9bqm9

@LexOfNP- Adult Swim (beats) http://www.datpiff.com/LexOfNP-Adult-Swim-mixtape.271104.html

@LexOfNP- Nick@Nite (beats) http://gotinstrumentals.com/mixtapes/NickNite-11303.htm

@PassportRav- Unemployment Check: Tier 2 http://www.datpiff.com/RavP-Unemployment-Check-Tier-2-mixtape.229341.html

@PassportRav- Passport Fridays http://hulkshare.com/gi0t9x35dbwx

Leaks and shit...

I can admit that I am a very opinionated person. Stubborn, if you will. But I don't think I'm irrational. Before I disagree, I hear a person out. But... 

I love music. I quite possibly listen to music all day, everyday. You know what's better than music? New Music. I am always excited by new releases and if that new release just so happens to drop before the release date, guess what? I'm listening. 

Recently, I have found myself defending why I don't see an issue with getting leaks... especially if you buy the music, anyway. And really who is to blame for all these leaks when the lines of mixtapes and actual albums have been smudged so heavily. So when it's time to give up your hard earned coins, wouldn't you want to know that you have a reason to? Eh.

That's one way to look at it... but that's not how I see it entirely. 

I believe in things like support. When I look at artist like Adele, who has been in the top10 for the majority of the year and STILL has links up for download, it's hard for me to fathom  the issue. It's almost like a "if you build it, they will come" kind of situation. There are numerous artist this year who had albums leak and still sold and are continuing to sell. Because the music is that good... I mean that's why I buy music. That is why I support artist. 

I am currently working on a project of my own. It is something that I am proud of and can't wait to release, but I was just asked how would I feel if my project got leaked and although people were receptive to it, I made NO money.

Good Question. I mean logically, why go through all the hard work of doing something. having to get it out to the people and NOT be payed. This is just, for me, a stepping stone of accomplishments. Who knows? Assuming that that actually happens, maybe I will change my mind. Maybe...

If the money is what drives an artist solely, then focusing on record sales is not key. Product should be. If you make a good product people will buy a good product, even if they test it out first. 

But I can really only speak for myself on this matter because honestly a lot of people aren't buying music anymore. But with an over-saturated market, I can see how some music doesn't hold people's attention spans long enough for them to invest in every artist. 

I say ALL of that to say this, I do fully believe in supporting good art. It's what thrives us, it's what motivates, it's what gets us through the day. But I can't wholeheartedly believe that leaking music is wrong... not entirely anyway. Not if you buy the album but are just too anxious to wait, like myself.

We need a resolution...

On Sunday, social networks and blogs alike were in an uproar over a video that leaked of a 14 year old girl performing oral sex on a peer in front of a school, as other students watched. The internet was set ablaze with overwhelming opinions and judgments. Some looked for a specific person to blame while others accepted the fact that this young lady isn’t the first nor will she be the last of her age group to experiment sexually.

Young children all across this country are partaking in sexual activities that “some” of us would have never thought of doing at that age. But times have most certainly changed. More and more children are exposed to a lot more than when I was a youth. We now live in a tech world. Although things are accessible with just a click, there is no filter. The gift and the curse of the world wide web.

But as I read the rants of people who have heard or even viewed the footage (I have not because the ages of the participants technically makes the video child pornography), I became witness to a lot of finger pointing. When situations like this occurs, people more often overlook resolutions because they are too busy looking for someone to blame.

It is more than easy to blame the parents of this young lady. Where are the parental units when things like this occur? As a parent, it is your job to guide your children morally. Teach them right from wrong. But lets face it, how many of us know right from wrong and still engage in the wrong? Although at that age we are still developing (mentally, physically )is it still the fault of the parent if we choose to go down the wrong path? Mistakes are apart of growing up. It’s how you learn. Right?

What this young lady did was extreme, but before we cast the first stone let’s not forget none of us are angels.  And if technology was as advanced when I was her age as it is now, I’m sure more than a few of you could very well be in this same situation.

To single that girl or her parents out for promiscuous activity isn’t fair. Yes, you can call her a hoe, but she is also a child. Many factors could be considered, but we weren’t given the full story,  we were provided with the result which is the video.

And what is to be said about the young man on the receiving end or the young men who recorded it? Do they get a pass because of gender while the young lady has to solely suffer the consequences of her decision?

I say all of that to say this, the issue at hand is bigger than the video itself. The issue, to me, is more or less guidance. Kids will be kids and the release of that tape isn’t going to hinder any child’s curiosity in the future. As opposed to judging what these children have done, look at this as a forum to discuss repercussion. That young lady could be related to any one of us. The shame that her and her family have to deal with because of a decision now is unfortunate. But maybe, the next young lady would think twice about her actions.

Bottom line, take care of the uninformed youth. They are growing up thinking that they are mature enough to know and deal with what they are doing and partake in things that they probably shouldn’t, as we all did at that age. The video isn’t going to stop kids from having sex, that’s a fact. I just hope that this incident could somehow show that everything isn’t made to be put on a public forum and that sometimes, although just a kid, things like this affect your future.

Just remember that the youth of today is our future of tomorrow.

But, I digress...



Editors Note: Anyone who not only watched, but distributed the links to the video on the internet are, in my opinion, sick individuals. At the end of the day, minors are involved and you are contributing to the release and viewership of Child Pornography. Seek help, sickos!