My Top Albums: 2011

Well... It's that time of year again. When we reflect on the past year and look forward to a new one. Of course, my reflection of 2011 derives strictly from the vast amount of great music released this year. So I composed a list of MY FAVORITES (capitalized for emphasis of music that I preferred over the year). In each category it is listed in the order of number of plays it has received by me.

Hope you enjoy and hope I might have put you on to a few artists that you may have overlooked! Have A Happy New Year Everyone!


My Favorite Mixtapes: 


Frank Ocean- Nostalgia/ Ultra
The Weeknd- House of Balloons
Teedra Moses- Luxurious Undergrind
The Weeknd- Thursday
Fabolous- The Soul Tape
Frank Ocean- The Lonny Breaux Collection
Pusha T- Fear of God
Stacy Barthe- Sincerely Yours
Chase N Cashe- Gumbeaux
Meek Mills- Dreamchaser
Young Jeezy- The Real Is Back
Wale- Eleven One Eleven
Melo X- More Merch
Masspike Miles- The Road Less Traveled
Terius Nash (The Dream)- 1977


My Otha Shyt Favorites:


Pala- Friendly Fires
Idle Warship- Habits of The Heart
Florence And The Machine- Ceremonials
Lykki Li- Wounded Rhymes
M83- Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
Dum Dum Girls- Only In Dreams
Britney Spears- Femme Fatale
Foo Fighters- Wasting Light
Coldplay- Mylo Xyloto
Jessie J- Who Are You?


My Favorite R&B Albums


Beyonce- 4
Miguel- All I Want Is You
Jill Scott- The Light of The Sun
Tank- Now or Never
Chris Brown- F.A.M.E
Raphael Saadiq- Stone Rollin
Marsha Ambrosius- Late Nights, Early Mornings
Anthony Hamilton- Back To Love


My Favorite Hip Hop/ Rap Albums:

Phonte- Charity Starts At Home
Drake- Take Care
Young Jeezy- Thug Motivation: 103
Pusha T- Fear of God 2
Big Sean- Finally Famous
Wale- Ambition
Jay Z & Kanye West (The Throne)- Watch The Throne
The Game- R.E.D
Childish Gambino- Camp
J. Cole- Cole World: Sideline Story


(Didn't Know Where to Place) Definitely Needs To Be Mentioned:
Adele- 21
Amy Winehouse- Lioness: Hidden Treasure




Look Out For (artist making noise... lowkey)


@fuzeb- Curb Your Sarcasm http://hulkshare.com/k7vnfq5aucjl

@AsiFrio- Pussy And Sportscenter http://www.datpiff.com/Asi-Frio-Pussy-And-Sportscenter-mixtape.298241.html

@Therealsoufboi- I'm So Georgia http://indy.livemixtapes.com/mixtapes/12983/soufboi_im_so_georgia.html

@Avionadramida- Avionadramida http://hulkshare.com/8pdj6h4441l6

@Avionadramida- The Recruiting Process http://www.mediafire.com/?uqpz6on0b59lwmq

@JustFLoWing- Go With The Flow  http://www.justflowing.com/ 

@JustFLoWing & @MaVnificent1- The WaterBreak http://www.mediafire.com/?3ptmu8cvb6p6v84

@theYHGMbrand- The Empire Strikes Back (volume 1) http://hulkshare.com/frxo37nj026h

@MillyEsquire- Vintage Milly http://www.datpiff.com/Milly-Esquire-Vintage-Milly-BE-mixtape.268379.html

@MillyEsquire- Eating Milk, Drinking Cereal http://www.mediafire.com/?l30y5qr6jt9bqm9

@LexOfNP- Adult Swim (beats) http://www.datpiff.com/LexOfNP-Adult-Swim-mixtape.271104.html

@LexOfNP- Nick@Nite (beats) http://gotinstrumentals.com/mixtapes/NickNite-11303.htm

@PassportRav- Unemployment Check: Tier 2 http://www.datpiff.com/RavP-Unemployment-Check-Tier-2-mixtape.229341.html

@PassportRav- Passport Fridays http://hulkshare.com/gi0t9x35dbwx

Leaks and shit...

I can admit that I am a very opinionated person. Stubborn, if you will. But I don't think I'm irrational. Before I disagree, I hear a person out. But... 

I love music. I quite possibly listen to music all day, everyday. You know what's better than music? New Music. I am always excited by new releases and if that new release just so happens to drop before the release date, guess what? I'm listening. 

Recently, I have found myself defending why I don't see an issue with getting leaks... especially if you buy the music, anyway. And really who is to blame for all these leaks when the lines of mixtapes and actual albums have been smudged so heavily. So when it's time to give up your hard earned coins, wouldn't you want to know that you have a reason to? Eh.

That's one way to look at it... but that's not how I see it entirely. 

I believe in things like support. When I look at artist like Adele, who has been in the top10 for the majority of the year and STILL has links up for download, it's hard for me to fathom  the issue. It's almost like a "if you build it, they will come" kind of situation. There are numerous artist this year who had albums leak and still sold and are continuing to sell. Because the music is that good... I mean that's why I buy music. That is why I support artist. 

I am currently working on a project of my own. It is something that I am proud of and can't wait to release, but I was just asked how would I feel if my project got leaked and although people were receptive to it, I made NO money.

Good Question. I mean logically, why go through all the hard work of doing something. having to get it out to the people and NOT be payed. This is just, for me, a stepping stone of accomplishments. Who knows? Assuming that that actually happens, maybe I will change my mind. Maybe...

If the money is what drives an artist solely, then focusing on record sales is not key. Product should be. If you make a good product people will buy a good product, even if they test it out first. 

But I can really only speak for myself on this matter because honestly a lot of people aren't buying music anymore. But with an over-saturated market, I can see how some music doesn't hold people's attention spans long enough for them to invest in every artist. 

I say ALL of that to say this, I do fully believe in supporting good art. It's what thrives us, it's what motivates, it's what gets us through the day. But I can't wholeheartedly believe that leaking music is wrong... not entirely anyway. Not if you buy the album but are just too anxious to wait, like myself.

We need a resolution...

On Sunday, social networks and blogs alike were in an uproar over a video that leaked of a 14 year old girl performing oral sex on a peer in front of a school, as other students watched. The internet was set ablaze with overwhelming opinions and judgments. Some looked for a specific person to blame while others accepted the fact that this young lady isn’t the first nor will she be the last of her age group to experiment sexually.

Young children all across this country are partaking in sexual activities that “some” of us would have never thought of doing at that age. But times have most certainly changed. More and more children are exposed to a lot more than when I was a youth. We now live in a tech world. Although things are accessible with just a click, there is no filter. The gift and the curse of the world wide web.

But as I read the rants of people who have heard or even viewed the footage (I have not because the ages of the participants technically makes the video child pornography), I became witness to a lot of finger pointing. When situations like this occurs, people more often overlook resolutions because they are too busy looking for someone to blame.

It is more than easy to blame the parents of this young lady. Where are the parental units when things like this occur? As a parent, it is your job to guide your children morally. Teach them right from wrong. But lets face it, how many of us know right from wrong and still engage in the wrong? Although at that age we are still developing (mentally, physically )is it still the fault of the parent if we choose to go down the wrong path? Mistakes are apart of growing up. It’s how you learn. Right?

What this young lady did was extreme, but before we cast the first stone let’s not forget none of us are angels.  And if technology was as advanced when I was her age as it is now, I’m sure more than a few of you could very well be in this same situation.

To single that girl or her parents out for promiscuous activity isn’t fair. Yes, you can call her a hoe, but she is also a child. Many factors could be considered, but we weren’t given the full story,  we were provided with the result which is the video.

And what is to be said about the young man on the receiving end or the young men who recorded it? Do they get a pass because of gender while the young lady has to solely suffer the consequences of her decision?

I say all of that to say this, the issue at hand is bigger than the video itself. The issue, to me, is more or less guidance. Kids will be kids and the release of that tape isn’t going to hinder any child’s curiosity in the future. As opposed to judging what these children have done, look at this as a forum to discuss repercussion. That young lady could be related to any one of us. The shame that her and her family have to deal with because of a decision now is unfortunate. But maybe, the next young lady would think twice about her actions.

Bottom line, take care of the uninformed youth. They are growing up thinking that they are mature enough to know and deal with what they are doing and partake in things that they probably shouldn’t, as we all did at that age. The video isn’t going to stop kids from having sex, that’s a fact. I just hope that this incident could somehow show that everything isn’t made to be put on a public forum and that sometimes, although just a kid, things like this affect your future.

Just remember that the youth of today is our future of tomorrow.

But, I digress...



Editors Note: Anyone who not only watched, but distributed the links to the video on the internet are, in my opinion, sick individuals. At the end of the day, minors are involved and you are contributing to the release and viewership of Child Pornography. Seek help, sickos!  

Is there such a thing as being happily single?

I came across this tweet the other day, a topic brought up by @COURgasm who found it hard to believe that people think that it is impossible to be happily single. She was also in awe that proclaiming such a thing made her a "liar" according to responses she received. One of her followers (@VyBeta) responded to her tweets by saying:

" It's difficult to believe someone can be content in and with self because the flesh requires too much instant gratification. Aloneness contradicts what it means to take care of flesh. It automatically suggests you're deficient in something. Not happy. "

So... With that being said...

Is there such thing as happily single?

Personally speaking, I can't even answer that question. Currently I'm single. I consider myself content because at this point I'm not trying to be in a relationship. In other words, I'm not out there pursuing. It's not that big of deal to me because I've played that part and I know what it really takes. I'm definitely not gonna act like relationships aren't good when they are good, but I'm not miserable without one. No need to wait to exhale, I'm breathing.

A lot of females express this same content with being single, but there are a lot of people who think anyone who says they are okay with being single is lying. I can understand why. There are plenty of females out here too happy to be single. They are out here cussing love out (when you know they're really scorned). Maybe it wasn't love, maybe it's you.

To equate that one couldn't possibly be happy being single because of the need to not only just be with, but touched by someone, is both ridiculous and yet somehow understandable. It coincides with my ideal that some people aren't anymore happy in a relationship then they would be out of it. They just have a void to fill. Not to discredit those who are happily in relationships.

This is a new generation of women who can feel okay about being single, but don't. The word "alone" sends shivers through the bodies of some who never look at this process as temporary, a time for self discovery and personal accomplishments. Instead, some women panic at the thought of lonely cold nights and start to think that being single may possibly be a permanent situation.

That eminent desire to belong to someone or be apart of something (a relationship) is rooted in everyone. But the second that someone proclaims happiness with being single, they are perceived as liars. Lying not only to others, but themselves as well.

Loneliness and desperation are the Achilles heel of all women, at least that is what we are made to believe. So appearing confidently single is often considered a exterior masking the sadness that weeps out at night on tear stained pillows. Yup. Except, no. That fact that it is easy to group all women in such a fragile state as neediness is disturbing. Yes, being comfortable with being single isn't easy. Especially if you are one to constantly be in and out of relationships, but it isn't a far- fetched idea either.

Singlehood isn't about realizing you can be happy, it's mostly about conforming to your status enabling you to try to consider being happy by yourself first. Being single does not automatically make you lonely. You are still able to date and test the waters all the while trying to discover what you want and what's best for you. But walk that line very carefully.

Do I believe all single people secretly want to be in a relationship? Yes. But I don't believe that you can't be happy without one.

Stay Woke: Personalities, Politics, Propaganda and Poverty...

With the Presidential elections approaching, I am becoming more and more aware of how unaware my peers and my generation is about what is going on both socially and politically. We have developed into a "what have you done for me lately" generation. This selfishness that we have acquired will ultimately be our downfall. Impressed by the lyrics in songs that ultimately express "money over everything", we look to become great without looking to make our surroundings greater. I suppose it's okay because our President is black, right? Wrong.

Yes, as a country, electing a African American into the highest office is an accomplishment, but that's not where it ends. A lot of us know who our President is, but what about our senators, representatives or other state officials? Do we know those names? What about the current issues, not just general, but in our neighborhoods, do we know those? But enough with the preaching. This was not the intent of the blog, per say. The intent is to get my peers to see more than what's being shown and hear more than what's being told.

Earlier today, I stumbled across a recording of Steve Harvey's morning show, in which he expressed his views on how he felt about what Tavis Smiley and Cornel West is doing in reference to President Obama. Now, you may not know this, but i detest Steve Harvey. I feel like his "life advice" is completely unwarranted because of the lifestyle he lives. I also feel as though he uses the "black struggle" to his advantage by speaking in such a way where those who are easily influenced hang on to his every word.

In this recording, Harvey proceeds to dig into (in the comedic way that only he knows how) Tavis Smiley and Cornel West about the "poverty bus tour" that they are running. He even alludes to them having some sort of hidden agenda. Both Smiley and West have expressed that the purpose of the "poverty bus tour" is to shine a light on the fact that although our President is black, black people are still suffering. Harvey proceeds to call these two men Uncle Toms and loosely accuse them of propaganda against President Obama.

Regardless of whether or not Smiley and West have personal issues with President Obama, they are not wrong. The state of black people in this country is dwindling because the majority of black people in this country are unaware that this is happening. The middle class is close to becoming non- existent. To call these two men out for even trying to make a forum for some kind of explanation of a resolve for these issues from our President is wrong. Plain and simple.

I am fully aware that the poverty issue did not start January 20th, 2009, but I am also aware that since that date, there has been no significant change. By no means am I faulting President Obama, but just because he is our black President doesn't mean that this should go unanswered either.

What I gathered from that recording is that because we are black, we should stand behind President Obama regardless if there is a fraction of doubt because he is black. Although, Harvey expresses several times that this isn't a black issue, it's a country wide issue.

I commend President Obama. To try to revive faith in a country that has none in it's government, while still trying to appease both political parties takes a tremendous amount of mental strength.... But... I will not fault Tavis Smiley nor Cornel West for drawing attention to the fact that although President Obama has done, he has not done enough. This is the purpose of this time before the elections, to get conversations started. To weed out those who can do and those who can just merely talk about it.

For Steve Harvey to shun these two influential figures in Black America by name calling and accusations is the exact same propaganda he is placing on them. Let's be for real, Harvey wants to be the spokesperson for black America. He wants to dictate how households should be ran. Just look at the books he writes, or the topics he discusses on his radio shows. Hell, look at the manner in which he discusses them as if he is somehow "all knowing". So for two highly respected African Americans to disagree with him, I believe he considers them a threat.

The Bottom Line is (because i am just shy of a ramble), everyone comes equipped with the ability to form their own judgments. We have created this facade of our President as some sort of hero equipped with weapons of hope and change to slay the evil republicans. Because of that image we have left change up to him, soley. Instead of being sheep, be informed. That is the only possible way for real change to occur.

"Times are serious and economic despair is hitting millions of Americans far and wide. But Steve Harvey doesn't feel any of this economic pain because rich men have the luxury of playing politics." - Dr. Boyce Watkins

Stay Woke.

Read Dr. Boyce Watkins Opinions on the Steve Harvey Morning Show Recording:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-boyce-watkins/steve-harvey-uncle-tom-cornel-tavis_b_924247.html

Listen To the Steve Harvey Morning Show Recording:

Look At Your Life, Look At Your Choices... R.I.P Amy Winehouse

Receiving her first guitar at age 13 after being fascinated by her brother being able to teach himself how to play, Amy Winehouse began writing music. Finding solace in music, she later joined a jazz band part time while working as a journalist for the World Entertainment News Network. Her big break came when singer/ boyfriend Tyler James sent her demo to A&R and she got signed to Simon Fuller’s management company in 2002. After being kept a secret, a year later, Winehouse released “Frank” on Island records, which received critical acclaim in the UK and derived some buzz in the states.

The album “Frank” was produced by hip hop producer Salaam Remi, who has also worked with Nas on his “Made You Look” record. “Frank”, aside from two cover songs, was heavily jazz influenced. Her voice was quickly compared to the smooth sultry voices of artist like Macy Gray and Sarah Vaughn. Her writing skills were undeniable, as well. She received the Ivor Novello songwriting award (alongside Salaam Remi) for her 1st single “stronger than me”. Although the album was considered successful, Winehouse wasn’t really happy about the chooses made.

Taking matters into her own hand for her sophomore album, Winehouse began to listen to only the music of the 1960‘s and the girl group motown sounds. She also has been reported to say that Nas was the inspiration behind the track ”me and mr. jones” after a chance meeting him on tour. “Back to Black” took a more classic soul and R&B feel. Hiring the Dap Kings to do background vocals and incorporating more risque topics (drinking, sex and drugs) the album produced several singles. With the help of Salaam Remi and Mark Ronson the album was a huge success world wide. Winehouse earned 5 grammy’s which tied her with the likes of Alicia Keys, Beyonce and Lauryn Hill.

Despite all of her success Winehouse was unable to defeat her vices. A bad relationship and heavy drugs led this talented artist down a never ending spiral. Bad publicity about her vices and outspoken family members didn’t help matters much, either. The song “rehab” on her 2nd LP explains her defiance and unwillingness to clean herself up for the sake of not only her talent, but her health. Against her own will, Winehouse checked herself in and out of rehabs over the last few years, but nothing was able to subdue the hidden torment. Unfortunately, after her most recent check out, Winehouse was pronounced dead early this morning for causes unknown.

I didn’t plan on blogging this month, but after hearing about the death of the artist who has made one of my favorite albums ever, my heart grew very heavy. “Back to Black” was an album that spoke to me, although I can’t really say I was going through those exact things at the exact time, but I felt it.

Logging on to social networks during a death announcement of an artist that was known to battle with drugs and substance abuse whom ironically made a song called “rehab” has felt like I personally left myself to be subjected to ridicule. Maybe I am taking it too personally or maybe I’m not. But the issue at hand is, regardless of whatever caused Amy Winehouse’s death, she is in fact dead. So there should be some respect.

It astonishes me that no one seems to see the bigger picture. Her death should be taken as a lesson that no one is without fault for their own actions. She had to have known that what she was doing was killing her, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Her torment outweighed her talent.

So instead of sitting on the “holier than thou” panel and passing judgment on the dead, who cannot defend their actions, we should all reevaluate ourselves. Ask ourselves if what we are doing now beneficial to what we hope to achieve/ accomplish in life... Nothing but death is certain in life.

I digress...

R.I.P Amy Winehouse (September 14, 1983- July 23, 2011)

Can a promiscuous past ruin your relationship's future?

"Leave the past in the past", that's what I've always been told, but does that work when it comes to sexual discrepancies? Not to long ago me and a group of my girlfriends sat around, equipped with wine, and had some good conversation. Of course, the topic of relationships came up. One of my friends said. "the nerve of dudes with this 'cant turn a hoe into a housewife' shit when women have been housing their hoe asses for decades. It's one sided b.s."

Is this true? I mean, undoubtly, we live in a sexist world. But the essence of womanhood lies in just that, behaving like a "lady". And "ladies" don't engage in sexually explicit behavior. So men would engage in these activities with a female, but they wouldn't necessarily "wife her". But let's just say this "hoe" did in fact turn into a housewife, and made the conscious decision to act like a "lady", would she really be accepted by her partner?

Unsure of my true stance of this issue, justifiably seeing both sides of the fence, I asked a few people "can a promiscuous past ruin your relationship's future"?

"no because I think people can change, I don't believe your past represents totally what u want for your future, you past shouldn't prevent good things from happening in the future"

"no 'cause what's in the past is the past, honestly i wanna freak.. Cuz its outta her system and she'll know how to f*ck good and give good brain"

"pride will ruin it"

"yes and of course that only applies to those who sh*t where they eat. "Cause anyone that cares for themselves will not reveal their promiscuity or flaunt it"

All valid points... But...

When a past and the present of individuals in a relationship are made more apparent, there are some things you wished you just didn't hear. Not to imply that anything taken as "offensive" can't be overlooked, but it could also spell disaster. 

It's said that some men don't even judge their women for their past, instead they judge them based on the fact that they are not as sexually free with them. It's as if the "change" that these women were trying to make to become a "lady" has turned them off to the sexual freedom they once embraced. It also might be that they embraced a foolish logic of what a "lady" should be as if any hint of the joy of sex has become a bad thing, even if in a long term relationship.

But the truth of the matter is, some things can't be overlooked depending on the individual. There are a good number of men who are in healthy relationships with women with a story to tell. But if you enter a relationship with someone that you know won't be able to stomach your past, do you withhold that information? Is that equivalent to a lie if you have changed? Its most likely a lose/ lose situation.

I feel like we are so boxed into ideals of "what's right" and "what's wrong" that we often ruin a good thing.

"Love is what you make and with whom you make it with"  -Savon Garrison, "Love Jones" 

Does Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder or Heavier??

The other day my Goo Goo Dolls Pandora station played Richard Marx's "right here waiting". Never heard this song before, but something about the lyrics strung a cord in me.


 “Oceans apart, day after day and I slowly go insane, I hear your voice on the line but it doesn’t stop the pain... I see you next to never, how can we say forever” 


In my nomadic lifestyle, relationships are always the one aspect in my life that suffers.I always wonder do long distance relationships work? 


I'm not 100% sure if I believe in long distance relationships. I would like to  believe long distance relationships can survive if both parties make the effort to keep the spark alive. But when separated by states and miles how is this possible? The unique nature of long distance unions involve an immense amount of passion and soley may relay on both parties emotions to keep it working.

Tears, loneliness, heartache, misunderstandings, the sleepless nights and "the I-miss-him/her-so-much syndrome" is not uncommon feelings in long distance relationships. Then again, the successful long distance relationships are rewarding. The strength built through the "hard times" lead to satisfying partnerships. For some, this is a reality, for others it's nothing more than a fairy tale. 

Long distance relationships aren’t for everyone. If you are someone who thinks more highly on  physical intimacy over emotional connection, long distance relationships might be extremely challenging to you and vise versa.

But in these times of technology, coping with long distance relationships are made easier through emails, texts and even video chats. But does that make up for time actually spent with one another?

Here are a list of Pros and Cons of Long Distance relationships:

Pros:

1. Emotional bonding is developed from time spent communicating and getting to know one another on a deeper than physical level.
2. Appreciation for actual time spent
3. Self contentment
4. Ability to focus more on goals set for yourself without subtle distractions
5. A strong trust foundation gets developed

Cons:

1. Emotionally stressful
2. Lack of intimacy
3. Loneliness
4. Misunderstandings leading to conflict
5. Financial strain (from communication efforts or frequent visits)

Long Distance relationships CAN work when there is an enormous amount of effort on both sides. Too often people conclude that the cause of break ups in long distance relationships is the distance itself. I believe that the distance only magnifies other issues in the relationship that aren't able to fully be resolved because of the distance. 

It's comforting to know that someone cares, but it's hard to realize it when the person is not around to comfort  you... Is it worth it?

For Colored Girls: Protect your womanhood (In honor of National Women's History Month)

Recently I got the opportunity to watch agreed to watch the movie "For colored girls". I, admittedly, had no interest in seeing Tyler Perry's version of Ntozake Shange's stage play. As I recall, the last time Tyler Perry had his hands in something, it was lack luster and terrifyingly scaring (ie. "Why did I get married too" and "Precious). But, surprisingly, I enjoyed the movie.

Its hard to form an opinion of something that you've never seen, but I managed to come up with my own thoughts based on what i've heard or read. Those pre- judgments deterred me from watching the movie. Many of my friends (as well as critics) gave the movie such labels as "man bashing" and "making black women appear weak". After watching a movie like "Precious", you can understand why I placed "For colored girls" in the "woe is me, black people" file and walked away. I guess that goes to show how wrong pre- judgments can be.

When I watched "For colored girls" I didn't see any of the negative aspects those that criticized it were so quick to point out. What I watched was an modern day adaptation of a 70's play that stayed true to the original words (the play consisted of 20 poems) that narrate the lives of women who, through different situations, are forced to find the strength within themselves. Although I have never been through an abortion, raped or even considered suicide, i still was able to relate to the adaptation. I believe that many African American women are.


 It is a little known fact that the play, originally titled "choreopoem" (later changed to "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf"), documented Shange’s own personal experiences and attempts at suicide. Both the play and movie consists of  real issues (with a dramatic flare of course).When Shange first wrote her play she stated the play was honestly raw including the lost of virginity, abortion, rape, and the need of all the characters to find love despite some unpleasant experiences. 


What I took away from this movie is that regardless of all that each individual woman went through, in the end, they were able to come together and strengthened themselves. Although they were not instantly relieved of their demons and burdens, they were left with a sense of self and a sense of hope that they did not have before.


This is the strength of the black female, to overcome.


The "men- bashing" notion of the movie/ play, admittedly is not a stretch, but it isn't as severe as it is made out to be. There are too many instances, both past and present, where black women are made to succumb to their circumstances. If the potential of black women is to be the supportive role for the black man (orange moon theory), then the black woman subsequently becomes an object to be utilized by another human being. The potential of black women stagnates. She becomes the role she was made to play and she cannot begin to think in terms of self-determination for herself or black people in general. 


I don't believe that taking a stand against only being a "supportive role" necessarily equates to being a "man basher". Gone are the days of feminism. Too many black woman are being made to believe that elevating themselves to positions of power, which is positive, consequently weakens the position of the man which then makes them less of a commodity. What is often misunderstood is that a woman is completely capable of being both independent and submissive. A history of oppression and abandonment has given the black woman a special strength. Undoubtedly, the Black woman is capable of handling anything. But that is a well kept secret. 


Where do these black women get this ideal to play the back instead of the partner? They get it from black men (and women) who are intimidated by them. Most black women, for the sake of companionship and lack of opposition to groupthink, lose their inner feminist and lower their ideals. They settle out of despair and then become content in their supportive role. They then go on to raise their daughters to believe that they, too, would have to face the hardships that are part and parcel of being black in America.


Consider this: what would the life of black women be if we were to redefine what the words "strength" and "independence"?


Editors Note: Although created from a man for a man, realize as a woman you are a precious gift. Realize that you possess a gift more powerful than what's hidden between your legs. Beware of those who tell you different. Beware of those who do not encourage you to embrace your womanhood. Uplift one another. Support one another. Don't combat one another... Build, don't tear down. Protect your womanhood. 


"Young woman proceed by any means necessary..."




Check Out Last Year's Women's History Month Post with Poem written by Ashley Logan Graham @theweepingpoet

The Ideal Winning...

Recently, media proclaimed "train wreck" Charlie Sheen has had a truck load of incidents that subsequently lead to court hearings, a pending divorce, rehab and his termination of his lead role in the CBS sitcom "two and a half men". With all that drama it may baffle some people as to why he is a self proclaimed "winner".

How can you have so many losses and still be considered a winner?

Here's how I see it, winning is simply a state of mind. I adore Charlie Sheen, not solely because of his entertaining antics and his memorable quotes, but because at the root of it all he is honest with his self. He doesn't make excuses for his faults and could care less about public opinion.

Now whether or not you have a positive or negative view of Mr. Sheen's faults, his honesty is commendable. Can you say the same about yourself?

So many people, especially celebrities, try to mask their faults or deflect them.
No one is without fault. No one! It's easy to have the "I have no one to fault, but everyone else" attitude when people point the finger at you and make you the bad guy. There is no way to maneuver around judgment. It's an inevitable part of life. Every story needs a villain. Standing tall to receive judgment, accepting it and then choosing not to give a fuck defines a true winner in my book.

What's the difference between a winner and a loser? A winner is aware of their faults and proceeds to live life in the best way for them without dwelling on other's opinions. A loser, on the other hand, invest so much in public opinion that they deny having any faults and live a pretend life masking their insecurities.

I am in no way condoning any of Charlie Sheen's alleged behavior. I am, however, commending him on being honest when asked to discuss his lifestyle.

Self realization is the 1st step to becoming a winner. Are you a winner?

Is the past better left there??... (rekindling an old flame)

The other night I watched one of my favorite movies, "Mahogany". It's no secret that I have a thing for Ms. Diana Ross. Ever since I was little, my mother took me to her concert in Central Park and it was all she wrote. But I love "Mahogany" for many other reasons: the fashion, Billy Dee William's more than obvious wash and set with pin curls and of course the story line.

In "Mahogany", Diana Ross' character, Tracy, had a drive and ambition that interfered with her budding relationship with Billie Dee Williams' character, Brian, who also had drive and ambition . This caused friction in the relationship. This isn't uncommon in relationships. Two different people on two different paths cross each other along the way, but separate because they feel like they have two different destinies.

The most favorable quote from the movie is "Success is nothing... NOTHING!!! Without someone you love to share it with". That is a quote that has probably been used and abused over the past 40 years since it's releasing, but the other night another quote struck a cord with me...

"I want my old man back"

This quote had me thinking... is wanting someone back always a good idea. In the case of Tracy and Brian, it worked. Despite the two different paths they took, she did in fact get her "old man back". But that's a movie, a really good movie, but a movie nonetheless. 

People have said before that "the past is a past for a reason", but I've also heard people say that "If you love something, let it go and if it comes back to you then it was meant to be". But who is right and who is wrong?

My personal opinion is, as far as ex's are concerned, they are ex's because the relationship didn't work out. That doesn't necessarily mean that I have stopped caring, but it does mean that I have opted to stop loving them in that way. But when they make the decision to re- enter my life in any capacity, I can not deny that memories spark feelings and I do consider the idea. People change, right?... 

In an article on "rekindling old flames",  psychologytoday.com suggests that "some 62 percent of us would consider getting back together with a former flame. When viewed through nostalgic lens, the things that went wrong seem insignificant". That article also goes on to say that the longer a person dwells on the emotions attached to memories, the more the nostalgia leads you to relive the past relationship. The good, the bad and the straw that broke the camels back. 

I think in any relationship, whether starting a brand new one or starting from scratch with an old flame, you can't let the issues of the past affect your future because it will in fact affect your future. Especially in the case of starting anew with an old flame.  I am not suggesting that you forget what was the cause of the end of the relationship by any means, but it shouldn't be held against them because that bitterness will be what eventually leads to a downfall. 

Also, don't put so much emphasis in needing to rekindle an old relationship because that pressure might just be what ends up breaking the both of you AGAIN. Figure out if it is a matter of really missing your ex or a matter of being scared of being lonely. It isn't uncommon for people to make rash decisions on who they choose to be in a relationship with because they are scared of lonely, but that is a risky move that just might land you lonely again (but not without going through a lot of drama first).

I am in no way suggesting that wanting to rekindle or even thinking about rekindling an old flame is a bad idea nor am i suggesting it's a good one, but we aren't Tracy and Brian. There is no theme song playing in the background leading us home to each other. We are only human. Imperfect and unscripted. Just make sure it's the BEST decision for you...

...is the past better left there?

*btw: this article is in no way encouraging that u rekindle an old relationship, while in a relationship. Just thought that needed to be said. i know how some of y'all get down. haha!... and don't forget to watch "Mahogany"! =)