The Plight...

"'Allow yourself to be loved'
I stare at those words
Dissect them
Piece them back together
Nope.
Something is still wrong.
I rearrange them
Try to make it more appealing to me, but
Something is still wrong.
Allow?
The mere thought of love needing my permission to occur saddens me
Love is without effort, it just is.
Right?
'Allow yourself to be loved'
I dress those words up with fancy happily ever after's.
But the outfit was too tight
Suffocating.
To give love the opportunity to smother me, fearing losing me in the process..."

I wrote this piece months ago, but could never finish. Most of the pieces I write aren't my personal experiences. but often times representations of things I've observed or read or overheard. My mind is always on go and words are always perched at the tip of my tongue ready to be released. But in this case, I couldn't finish this piece because... it's me.

Honestly, this piece is a lot of people. There are many who love hard, but don't know how to accept being love. Crazy, right? Well, I never said it would make sense, but it is indeed a reality.

We spend so much time waiting and hoping to be loved. Searching, yearning. Expecting that once love is coveted, it'll full a void. But when we actually get what we want, we run.

I believe that the ability to not know how to accept love is the reason why people end up in bad relationships. I don't think this in any way reflects self esteem, but a fear of trust. Fearing that if you become comfortable with your trust, things will change or in the end you'll lose. If you're making decisions based on fear, then you'll find yourself dealing with the same "safe" situations.

When you repress your fears, you're resisting them. Resisting fears does not eliminate them. You’ll continue to feel and subsequently create the experience of fear in your life. Where attention goes, energy flows. You will always end up in the same complacent relationship that'll always lead to you being alone...

And isn't that the fear? To love, be loved and lose love?

So... it really makes no sense to not take the risk of allowing someone to love you.

"In the same way how darkness is the lack of light and not the opposite of light, fear is the lack of Love, not the opposite of it. You can't put darkness in a room. In order to make it dark you have to block out light. You cant put fear in a person. In order to make a person fearful, you have to block out Love..."



Are you allowing yourself to be loved?....