Trust.... how many of us have it???

On Facebook, a friend of mine posted a status saying, “How do you get past not having TRUST?!! Or how do you give someone your trust if you trust no one but yourself...? A relationship will NEVER work without it and it's something I seriously lack... *to be honest* Heeeelllppp!”

I found this to be a very good question. How do you trust someone, relationship wise, when you’ve had other relationships where that bond or trust was broken or violated? It’s not an easy task by any means. It’s one of those situations where you fall, dust yourself off and get back on the horse again. Or is it??

Any relationship, whether it is personal, business, family, romantic, etc., won’t be able to survive without trust. Sad to say, trust in relationships is now rare. Not being able to trust may have a negative impact on a person’s life. It can destroy the glory of relationships, thus paving way for jealousy and devastation.

However, it is difficult to gain trust in a relationship. Building trust in relationships needs considerable effort, commitment and time. It also depends on the personal relationship that you have with yourself. It's a must that you are content with yourself before you can be content with someone else. Trust is included in that. You can’t really trust someone unless you trust yourself enough to allow that trust to happen

When someone’s actions have shattered your ability to trust, it’s a very hard process to learn to trust again. Most never move past a broken heart. But, all hope isn’t lost. You can learn to trust again, even after being deeply wounded in a past relationships. You do not have to let a person's lack of trustworthiness ruin all your future relationships.

Sometimes people constantly fall into the same situations that have caused them heartache, because it’s a security blanket. When the relationship ends, they are not as heartbroken because they’ve already foreseen the end result. When people fall back into these “cycles” it’s a sign that they don’t trust themselves enough to choose the right person. So when people find someone who is “different” from the others, they become skeptical because they don’t believe that they deserve to be treated right. They also don’t trust themselves enough to handle someone worth their trust.

Recognize the need to trust again. Some people fool themselves into believing that they do not need to have close relationships in their lives. However, it’s human nature to need or want to be with some. Without trust, you cannot have a close relationship. Without a close relationship, life can seem empty.

*Editor’s note: I cannot write this blog as if I am immune to my trust being violated or as if I am whole- heartedly trusting. For a long time I’ve had a “me, myself and I” mentality. I still do. But, what I’ve come to learn is that when you close yourself off to letting people in, you close yourself off to life. When I say to “trust yourself first”, I mean you have to trust yourself enough to know that when you do decide to let someone past those walls and they do violate your trust, you know you’ll be strong enough to dust yourself off and get back on the horse. Bottom-line: Become the best you!