Does Monogamy Still Exist Or Is It So 2008???

For the longest time I have wanted to write a blog about relationships.  Relationships are constant conversation amongst me and my girlfriends. All we need is a little wine to get the ball rolling and no topic is off limits. We talk about sex, love, friendships and all the encompasses the term relationship.  But what I have noticed is that a female's ideal of what a relationship is has become jaded. A lot of females have just gotten used to settling for what they can get. I will admit that I was once guilty of that. But now- a- days it seems like a women has only two choices: settle or be lonely. I have yet to decide which one is worse.

I have a friend who doesn't believe in monogamy. She explains herself by saying, "why should I practice monogamy when niggas don't believe in it. I don't 'do' relationships and that's how I protect my heart".  Now I want to make sure to tell you that even though she is not monogamous doesn't mean she "sleeps around", it just means she doesn't claim anyone or allows anyone to claim her. As she expressed her thoughts on the subject, I nodded my head in agreement. I can say that no man that I was in a relationship with has cheated, but then I would be lying. But do all females feel that way?

Thinking that this conversation had become biased, I searched for a male point of view. I asked one of my closet male friends his opinion on monogamy. With the wit that only he has, he replied, "I would like to say yes, for my girl's sake, but I don't know. I always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side and maybe one day I will try to find out. But trust and believe my girl is probably staring at that same grass too". Although I appreciated the honesty in his response, I couldn't believe it. Him and his girl have been together for 2 years, why would he wonder about the other side or speculate that she might be wondering too?

Yesterday I watched "Why did I get Married (The Play)" and the topics got me asking myself a lot of questions. If monogamy no longer exists, then who is to blame? They always say "do your part because if you don't then someone else would", but is that always the reason or is that the excuse?

Personally, I believe that if the love and the connection is there then the relationship can survive. But it can not survive with wandering eyes. People today are just overwhelmed with too many choices and they look for traits in another person that they cannot find in someone else. (Exactly why that Pleasure P song "Boyfriend #2 irritates me). I also believe that some people are just not built to be monogamous *kanye shrug*

Being single, I have come to terms with being "lonely". Sometimes it's good and sometimes it sucks major ass (but only on cold nights). But it has allowed me the chance to figure out who I am and what I would like to receive in a relationship or if I even want a relationship at all. There is far to much "settling" going around and it is mostly because of the fear of being lonely. But it is hard for me to adjust to the thought that what I can receive from a relationship is only what I allow myself to see, while overlooking the honest truth that the essence of good relationships probably no longer exist.

hmmm... i wonder...