Have you taken the time to read the book, or do you just look at the cover??

I am very fond of social networks and blogging. It allows me the chance to communicate and share thoughts with friends and strangers alike. I suppose everyone with internet access feels that their opinions and thoughts are relevant and should be shared. That's somewhat understandable. What I can not understand is the vicious and insulting comments made amongst one another on the web. So much negativity can be found online now- a- days. True meaning of "A gift and a curse".

What is the difference between "hating" and "constructive critism"? Personally, I do not like the terms "hating" or "hater". I feel  it is overused. Some people who can not take constructive critism or the hard truth, use that term to justify themselves. But, what truly separates "hating" from "constructive cristism" is the motive behind it. Is it coming from a good place?


I consider myself to be a "watcher". The term "watcher" describes my personality around people. I pay very close attention to the people around me (with or without a sober mind). As I watch people, although i am not in the very best position, i judge them. These judgments are not necessarily negative, but more times than not they are.

*Some of my judgmental ways stem from my family. I grew up with people who made it their business to express all thoughts (both positive and negative)

I judge based on upkeep. I judge people for what i consider to have "project mentalities" (be small minded); the way they raise their children, the way they handle relationships with men/ women, their lack of education, ignorance, etc. I would secretly vow to myself that "I would never be like them". I won't lie, a part of me distanced myself mentally from them (although I would still hang out with them) because I did think I was better than them. But what I know for a fact is once I got to know them individually (as opposed to placing them all in the same box), I've come to realize that we all had similarities in our past and present. In fact, we really weren't that much different at all. A lot of the people that I was so quick to write off are some of my closet friends to date.

After that revelation, I started to think about why is it a human instinct of mine (and others) to "judge a book by it's cover", never concerning oneself with the contents inside. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. It really makes no sense to judge people without knowing who they are or what they stand for. It baffles me how some people's sole purpose is to bring another person down. I am reminded of a friend who once told me "being negative comes natural. It gives people a false sense of maturity and growth. It is positivity that takes effort, but you shall be rewarded in the end". Hmmm... interesting way to look at it.


When I read blogs from people like Tameka Foster Raymond (Usher Raymond's ex- wife), I can sympathize with her. No, I do not no the inner workings of her life or relationship (and I truly could care less), but I do know what it feels like to be judged. And she has been judged plenty. People (celeb bloggers and their commentators mostly) make assumptions about her life without knowing her, and this is something that she has to deal with on a daily basis. Can you imagine??

Celebrities are constantly under a microscope and examined piece by piece. But they often don't receive sympathy because most people feel as if "it comes with the territory".

But what about us everyday, average folk? Should we all naturally expect negativity? Yes, I know the old saying "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words would never hurt me", but I don't think that that is always the case. Physically words cant hurt you, but mentally it can fuck you up (if you feed into it). You can be the strongest person with the most confidence, but some things can still effect you.

I've dealt with this issue on both ends (being the one that's judged and being the one doing the judging). What I have learned is that "judging" is inevitable, there is no getting around being judged or making judgments (even if they are unintentional).


You cant change people, but you can change yourself (and hope everyone else follows suit)...

...I am still a work in progress.

"Don't hate.. Hate is easy... Love takes courage" -Rev Run